- 31 Mar, 2021
- 0 Comments
- 1 Min Read
She is an Ibanez Revision /AN
Please correct the essay per following comments:
Add an MLA heading and make sure your essay is double-spaced (this looks like it’s 1.5 spaced).
+Thesis is clear (but watch that comma splice!).
+You are missing an introductory paragraph. Review the slide lecture on constructing the evaluation essay for ideas on how to introduce your topic.
+Par. 1: Good topic sentence (though there is another comma splice in there) 🙂 Nice descriptions and details. Just be careful of comma splices and fragments.
The rest of the essay is strong in terms of organization and gorgeous details. However, you have not addressed alternative reviews here, which is a major component of this assignment. You hinted at this when you mentioned the need for strong hands, but we need more counterargument in here. What are some of the criticisms people have about this guitar? Or perhaps there are those who simply prefer the six string. Find examples of those reviews and add them to this paper. Include some actual quotes. You can then address their concerns by either agreeing with them or offering a counterargument. I explained how to incorporate these reviews in last week’s slide lecture.
Review the “alternative judgements” portion of the Chapter 8 Guide to Writing in The Concise Guide.
You can further add to your own review by finding a couple of positive quotes from reviewers as well. “As David C. from Guitars.com mentions . . .”
Kody Lightfoot ,